Snow, a rosy glow and naked fruits and veggies

It’s fair to say I have a huge family – we have to rent reception halls to host our Christmas celebrations. Fifteen aunts and uncles between the two sides of my family, each with two to six children who now are having lots of kids of their own… it adds up. So it’s a rare day when I see everyone.

It’s also a rare day when I indulge in the special dishes for which each family member is famous. There’s the mini-shrimp dip, the cheese sandwiches, the fat noodles with beef, the layer salad, my mom’s sweet potatoes and cheesy potatoes, this amazing thing with shortbread-walnut crust, chocolate pudding and whipped cream … and someone’s always good for a tray of baklava. It adds up. Oh, does it add up.

Throw in a few office parties, gatherings with my immediate family, a cookie-baking tradition and random acts of chocolate, pour on a few drinks at New Year’s Eve, and I might as well pull out the elastic pants, right?

So what, I say, it’s the holidays, and I don’t get to eat fat homemade noodles any other time of the year.

But all is not lost. It simply requires some compensating. And because there are no significant others at the moment who might use this holiday season to stuff a person’s heart in the blender, pour in hopes and dreams and hold down the “Pulse” button, resulting in a Christmas cookie overload, I anticipate doing a minimum of damage to my health.

My whole plan is conveniently tied to a memorable little ditty I like to call, “The Twelve Ways to Survive Christmas.” Sing along with me, if you will…

On the 12th day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: 12 extra minutes tacked on to my usual fitness routine. (C’mon, it’s not that much – less time than it takes the pizza guy to deliver.)

On the 11th day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: 11 minutes of jumping rope as often as possible. And it is possible to jump rope while watching Grey’s Anatomy. (For the sake of precious household items, choose a short rope. You’re at the end of one during the holidays already, right?)

On the 10th day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: 10 minutes each day or so meditating on the falling snow, the scent of pine or the glory of the Hallelujah Chorus.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: nine glasses of water a day. There’s a little salt in those cheesy potatoes, you know.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: eight hours’ sleep. Every night. Slowly put away the scissors and back away from the wrap. That’s what gift bags are for.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: buy seven boxes of Christmas cookies in sealed packages at the very last minute. Do not keep bags of nuts, chocolate chips and peanut butter bits around the house for fear I will be tempted to skip the baking part and make a cookie in my mouth.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: six-a-day of naked fruits and veggies, unadorned by any kind of sauce or dip or seasoning. Not even spray butter.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: parking the car five spaces, five lots or five blocks further than I need to. I will arrive at my destination with calm generosity in my heart, a new perspective on my surroundings and an attractive flush on my cheeks.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: four minutes of dancing to “SexyBack” every time I finish four Christmas cards to my huge family. Curtains closed, volume cranked.

On the third day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: three conversations during each party with people I don’t talk to very often, held out of arm’s reach from any food-bearing tray.

On the second day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: two mugs of decaf coffee, tea or low-sodium soup before I mosey up to the buffet table and strap on the feed bag. Either I’ll feel too full to eat as much as I want, or I’ll be too busy running to the bathroom to eat as much as I want. (See also the ninth day of Christmas.)

On the first day of Christmas, my stay-fit strategy: One knock-down, drag-out snowball fight with my daughter. Followed by a blow-dryer, a cozy chair and some cocoa. (Sugar free.)

Cheers!